02:40 How Simon has based his career around negotiation

First career was in asset management, but was very uhappy doing it

Decided to do NLP Therapy � uses perceptual, behavioral, and communication techniques to make it easier for people to change their thoughts and actions

It got him fascinated by how the brain works, and so built his business around that

Negotiation was the most obvious bottom line application of psychology

05:58 Is negotiation now more vital than ever?

We�re living in divisive times

We seem to be slowly getting better at managing conflict, both at a global level and micro level

The existential threats are getting bigger through social media

08:29 Can the principles from high stakes negotiations be applied to people�s everyday lives?

We�re negotiating all the time

�Micro negotiations� take place a dozen times a day

If you get good at micro negotiations, you get your outcome and you build the relationship at the same time

This skill can help you in every area of your life

Simon�s first book was about win-win negotiation

16:02 What Simon learnt from writing his second book

Simon�s first book is more about giving a framework for negotiating

The second book is much more about the soft skills involved in relationships and communication

25:15 Persuasion versus manipulation

Manipulation has a connotation that there�s something underhand about it

Generally, the political approaches to influence are generally either use force or lies

The ethical approach is much more powerful and involves a lot more listening

�I�d like to get this and you�d like to get that, how can we both get that?�

35:39 Being clear on long-term goals

Make sure all your goals are lined up

The problem is that it�s easy to focus on what we lose out on

36:59 Cheeky asks

The thing about the cheeky ask, as opposed to a more fair ask, is that you know you might not get it

It helps to bring a bit of a laugh into it, a bit of a joke, or something that�s self-deprecating

43:05 Looking out for subtle clues

Step into the shoes of the other person � the other person is going to see it very differently to how you see it

Too often we go back to our rationale, louder, but it doesn�t work

Think: �what are their goals? What are they trying to achieve?�

If you know somebody�s values, you can frame your message in terms of their values, and they�re more likely to say yes

49:04 Personality types and profiling

A very popular profiling test is the OCEAN Big Five, as well as Myers Briggs

The main thing is to think about what type of language might work for a certain type of person

53:36 Is there any advice around multicultural negotiations that people need to specifically take into mind?

Be careful with generalizations, as they are often not representative of the given individual

Treat the person you�re talking to as an individual

57:16 How do you negotiate with people across video channels?

The big benefit of video/ digital communication is that you don�t need to travel

Human connection is the big thing that is lost

If you meet somebody, you�re going to trust them more

Consciously think which is the best channel to communicate with, as often we have had the illusion of communication

01:00:11 What�s the difference between the two shift and support responses?

The shift response is where you listen, but then you shift it to you

The support response is about listening and asking them more questions

Hostage negotiators are exceedingly robust in their outcome � they don�t actually negotiate

They take a very soft approach to achieving it through building rapport

Their results is built on their listening skills

01:03:53 Techniques for there to be no power shift

We�re reframing negotiation to being a collaborative problem-solving approach

01:08:48 Co-creating the solution

If you view the person as an opponent in the negotiation, it means that they�re against you and all of the energies in that conversation are against each other

�they�re my partner, they�re not my opponent�

Focus your energies instead on the problem

01:14:58 Finding the right moment to just get the agreement over the line

There isn�t a definitive optimum moment when to strike

�The best negotiations don�t seem like a negotiation at all�

They should seem like a nice conversation and they just naturally find that way to a solution to an agreement