3:18 How growing up in during the apartheid influenced Tim�s outlook on life?

Growing up around deliberate social engineering

Clear memories of social damages

Reflecting on systemic racism today

Advice for white people about how to engage with social injustice

7:51 The indirect influences from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission about how to have difficult conversations

�Why is it hard to bring some things out to the open?�

Africa�s linguistic tradition and history of storytelling

Respect the craft of communication

9:58 Getting into psychology and specialising in sports psychology

�I wanted to work with talented people�

His personal love for sport

11:20 Has sports psychology achieved what it has set out to do?

Tim works in an insular environment

Advice to aspiring sports psychologists: not everything is psychological

The myth of �everything is possible�

The elite athletes excel in focus

Being practical in the intangible world of psychology

14:32 Finding the right balance with focus

The System 1 vs. System 2 debate by Daniel Kahneman

18:34 When to follow our instinctive decisions, outside of the sports realm

�Many of life�s challenges and dilemmas are recurring�

Experimenting with thinking fast and slow

21:15 How to increase our focus in day to day life

Focus is like a torch beam � consider its brightness, breadth, and direction

Practice self-awareness and regular reflection

Lessons from playing squash � it�s 100% focus on the power through the wrist

Education falls short by not teaching students what to concentrate on

26:18 Flow vs effort with focus

Knowing when to apply System 1 and System 2

28:32 Working with goalkeepers to boost their performance

Previously coached football

The biggest challenge for goalkeepers: they carry the can a lot of the time

Goalkeeping is measurable but not totally manageable

The parallels with investment world in terms of uncontrollables

31:48 Does the mind give up before our bodies? Looking at older cyclists

We can�t run ourselves to death: we�re hunters

Long-term physical stress from endurance sports

�Don�t injure yourself, don�t scar your heart. As long as you can avoid those, you can have an extremely long and happy sporting life�

The effect of becoming de-trained is much stronger than the effect of ageing

35:53 Communication across different cultures

The calibration issues when understanding different cultures

It�s not always East vs West: e.g. similarities between Italian and Indian cultures

Every culture values privacy and inclusion: can�t have them at the same time

�Culture is just a veneer on top; underneath people are the same�

40:59 Techniques and approaches when coaching people for the first time

�The athlete you�re talking to already has a theory of sports psychology�

The need for careful listening

43:14 Taking on new ideas and skills in the run-up to a major event

It can be detrimental to performance

There�s the temptation to change, but in pressured moments keep the same

44:52 Heart Rate Variability and breathing techniques

Parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems need to be in balance

Regulating your own arousal levels through breathing

Having an easy and a hard pace like pro cyclists

49:26 Athletes communicating with each other

Provide emotional support when you can�t physically

The skill of communicating practically in a sport like football

51:56 The purpose of communication

The different objectives of conversations: factual, forecast, value, allegiance

The problem with political conversations when they�re both factual and allegiance

56:20 Verbal and non-verbal cues

Building the flow between System 1 and System 2 � allow them to communicate with each other

Gaslighting blocks communication

1:00:53 What�s the best way for white people to talk about diversity and inclusion?

Recognise that white people are part of the equation

Whiteness affects your circumstances

Learning from the book �White Fragility�: �You�re not necessarily the luckiest person in the world, but it�s not because you�re white�

1:04:56 The inspiration behind writing the book and writing process

On lacking certain skills in talking, writing serves as another way to communicate

Ben Lyttleton�s books �Edge� and �Twelve Yards: The Art & Psychology of the Perfect Penalty�

Initially an unconfident writer, he discovered he loved the process

1:08:29 Why do we need rules in conversations?

We need rules when we get stuck

1:10:09 The motivation formula

Learning from a house gecko

Motivation comes from being more confident, more rewarded and less tasked

1:13:18 Ways to improve confidence

Step out of the binary world of success/ failure

Confidence isn�t about being black or white, but accepting the shades of grey

1:15:11 Dealing with disputes

We fight because we lack social skills, not because one is good vs bad

�Conflict is a consequence of our well-intentioned failure to manage multiple agendas�

Learn to recognise bad traits like selfishness and deliberate untruthfulness

The warning signs of Donald Trump

Strive for fewer false positives

1:18:50 Using communication effectively for bad reasons

We talk to identify who has the best idea

�Competing ideas are best resolved in a governed environment�

Having no space to cheat, like in football: it�s governed by referees, spectators, players and rules

1:22:18 How do we agree on truth?

Rule 1: agree what you�re talking for

The need to have an agreed method/ process for discovering the truth

Extend the scientific method to complex social issues

1:26:36 The skill of stress-testing truth from conversations

It needs to be taught at school from a young age

Critical thinking prioritises truth over opinion

Collaboration to find the truth

1:128:14 The role of resilience in conversation

Resilience is not about coping with more

Don�t be quick to judge what stressed people are going through

1:32:22 Enhancing personal relationships through better communication

John M. Gottman�s �Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work�

Focusing on the good qualities of each other

We need people to turn to

1:35:59 Understanding the PERMA acronym

Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment

Formed by Martin Seligman

We need all of these things in order to have satisfying lives

Have multiple sources of these categories

1:39:50 Working in a remote world: how can we avoid our written word from being misconstrued?

Humans look for patterns, which means we�re good at making stuff up

1:41:46 The four types of conversationalists

Piers Morgan is a typical escalator

Escalation can be used for the greater good, e.g. at an unfair trial

Storytellers: Boris Johnson draws vivid pictures but can lack vigour

Safety: conversations are only safe when both parties are safe

The Analyst can also benefit from learning how to tell stories

We want to use all the conversation styles

1:45:55 Some of the best communicators in the public realm

Jacinda Ardern, Angela Merkel and Justin Trudeau

Rishi Sunak: factual but good storytellers

Dave Brailsford communicates difficult stories e.g. Chris Froome

Lewis Hamilton: social and personal awareness

1:47:30 What are the effects of good listening?

�You can�t have a conversation without listening�

It�s an act of inviting

Why do we sometimes not listen?

1:50:17 How to have difficult conversations

Have the confidence in your ability to build safety in a conversation

4 real safety skills: commitment, contrast, perspective, apology

Get everyone to accept that there are rules that benefit communication

Review the rules to see which ones you disagree with

Consider the flip-side: how could the conversation be better without rules?