#79
Awakening Wisdom: Exploring the Legacy of Tony de Mello with Dr. Francis Valloor
Dr Francis Valloor is an author, international speaker and professional trainer who creates and conducts mindfulness and awareness workshops, seminars and courses in Ireland, India, the UK and USA. He is the author of ‘A Dewdrop in the Ocean – Wisdom Stories for Turbulent Times’ (2009) and ‘Seeing Your Face Without A Mirror – Mindfulness Stories of Self-Realisation’ (2018). Much of our discussion will gather ideas and momentum from these two books. However, Francis is a prolific writer; his other books require the same esteem and rigorous exploration.
Although his lifelong quest has brought him in contact with many outstanding spiritual teachers, friends and several masters and sages, one, in particular, Anthony de Mello, is credited with setting him on the path of awareness. Following the death of his mentor and guide, Francis worked as the director of Sadhana Institute in Lonavla, India, for fourteen years before spending two years as a visiting scholar at the University of Notre Dame.
Today, he resides in Dublin, Ireland, where he works as a Clinical Psychologist in private practice, primarily focussing on individual and group psychotherapy, psychological and neuropsychological assessments, relationships and mindfulness.
Given the diversity of his background and work, there is so much that Dr Valloor has to offer our audience from an incredible range of personal and professional perspectives.
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Summary
02:18 An overview of Tony De Mello
- Born in Bombay in 1931
- He was an Indian Jesuit priest and psychotherapist
- In 1973 he founded the Institute of Pastoral Counseling, later renamed the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling, in Poona, India
- Francis was 20 years old when he first met Tony
- Tony De Mello was always questioning things and moving forward, and brought the concept of awareness to the forefront
06:39 The impact of Tony De Mello’s work in the US
- He ran prayer seminars, that would last for ten days where he would speak for six hours a day to a 1,000 to 2,000 people
- His book ‘Sadhana, a way to God’ became a huge bestseller in the late 70s
- Tony only rose to prominence during the last few years of his life
10:07 The acceptance of Tony De Mello’s teachings today
- Tony was well known for blending East and West science and spirituality
- After he died, during the 90s some of his teachings were criticised for not following some of the fundamental truths of the Catholic Church
- Tony was on the radar in his lifetime for being too liberal on sexuality, but he was never irresponsible with his teachings
- Tony was of the opinion that “you should do what gives you that spiritual sustenance and nourishment… where God calls, that’s where you go”
- Tony was freer to talk to people in India, but he had to be more mindful about how he spoke in the West
16:49 The influence of Krishnamurti’s work on Francis Valloor
- Francis has read of all Krishnamurti’s writings
18:46 How Francis’ knowledge in various fields has contributed to his perspective on mindfulness and its importance in personal growth
- The roots were in the Buddhist tradition, where awareness was the key things
- “Awareness is not limited to anyone… it is common property”
- Mindfulness is something you do and awareness is something you experience
24:23 The role of breathwork in mindfulness meditation
- “Breath is life”
- Breath helps to heal and change
- In yoga, Pranayama is to purposely inhale, exhale, and hold your breath in a specific sequence
- Getting our breath in order first helps us to solve our problems quicker and better
- For certain breathwork practices you need an expert with you to support and guide
28:38 An introduction to breathwork
- Change from shallow breathing to deeper breathing
- You can’t breathe deeply all the time, but establish a regular practice where you do that several times a day
- Keep your hands on your belly, and see what happens when you breathe
33:15 Francis’ journey as a clinical psychologist and how it has informed his views on mindfulness and its role in mental health
- It’s about finding lasting change
- Awareness if the key ingredient for any psychological technique
37:24 Exploring body-centered therapies
- Training the mind alone is hard without the body
- The body reveals how you feel
- Example practices include Holotropic Breathwork, Focusing, Dreamwork
41:59 What is EMDR?
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences
- Developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s
- Francis was one of the early students of EMDR
45:37 Tips to begin and sustain a meditation practice
- It depends on the person and where they are in life, but allow the practice to evolve and develop to suit you
- Some people like to sit and watch the ocean, while others prefer to walk in the woods – there is no one-size-fits-all
49:56 The role of silence
- Silence is when the mind is quiet
- “Silence is the language of God”
- Nature is a powerful catalyst for silence, e.g. sitting by a lake
54:32 Embodying vitality, aliveness, and stress-free efficiency in the workplace
- Allow the heart to do the work, once your mind is still
- There is not enough compassion in the workplace
- If you want to change the workplace, change your self
- Stanford University teaches Applied Compassion Training
- Build a culture that doesn’t squeeze out people’s energy, but nourishes and sustains them
- Francis has seen more companies lead with kindness and compassion
- Kindness builds loyalty and trust
01:03:21 Finding happiness in the everyday
- What is not found now is not found
- “We only have now – there is no future or past”
- Everyday life is the only way we can find happiness
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