What to do When a Colleague is Laid Off
Introduction
Layoffs are a workplace reality that few people feel comfortable talking about. They happen, we acknowledge them briefly and quietly, if at all, then move on without a word. But the effects linger. A colleague’s departure is not just a logistical shift –– it disrupts the social and emotional fabric of the workplace.
For whatever reason, many people choose to avoid the conversation around layoffs entirely, unsure of what to say or do. It’s easier that way. But easier isn’t always better. For context, the technology sector alone laid off nearly 130,000 employees in 2024. Major players like Intel suddenly announced a 15% global workforce reduction. Meanwhile, Unilever shared plans to reduce a third of all European office roles by the end of this year [1]. In other words, these layoffs are happening whether we talk about them or not. The best thing we can do is find a way to address the subject in a compassionate way –– for everyone involved.
After all, a layoff isn’t just about the person leaving. It’s also about those who remain. It raises questions. Who’s next? What does this mean for the company? Why them and not me? It’s a shift that goes beyond empty desks and farewell emails, creating an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty that can be hard to shake.
The unspoken
But what’s the right thing to say when a colleague gets let go? You don’t want to make the situation worse. The wrong words can feel dismissive, but saying nothing at all can come across as cold.
Nancy Meredith, a project manager who lost her job after 17 years at a software company then blogged about her experience at mylayoffstory.com described the aftermath as crushingly isolating. “The silence was deafening,” she recalled. “It’s better to say something than nothing. You do weed out who your friends are.” [2]
“It’s a lot like death,” says Penelope Trunk, chief executive officer of Brazen Careerist, a social networking site for young professionals, “people don’t know what to say. Everyone wants to be nice, but 50 percent will try to say something nice and won’t” [3]. The truth is, there’s no perfect phrase that makes being made redundant feel okay. What matters is showing up. A simple, “I heard what happened — I’m really sorry. If you ever want to talk, I’m here,” can mean more than you realise.
Meanwhile, the temptation to comfort with all-out optimism can be strong, but it can often come across a bit tone deaf. Telling someone, “This could be a great opportunity,” or, “Everything happens for a reason,” can sound dismissive or outright annoying when they’re still reeling. Positivity is generally a good trait, but there’s a time and a place. “Do not try to make someone feel better by telling them that you’re jealous of their new-found free time,” advises Donna Gerson, co-author of Modern Rules of Business Etiquette [4]. What they need in the moment isn’t perspective, it’s space. The Daily Muse in Forbes offers a simple but powerful approach: “Stick around, and if you aren’t sure what to say, just say nothing. What this person really needs is to talk it out and for you to listen with both ears” [5]. Sometimes, being present is enough.
There’s also the question of practical support. Peter Post, director of the Emily Post Institute, advises, “The best thing you can do is be compassionately considerate. Don’t tiptoe around and pretend it’s not there. You can’t ignore it. But don’t make the person feel like an object viewed in a window either” [6]. Instead, small actions — offering to introduce them to industry contacts, reviewing their CV, forwarding job leads — can make a significant difference. Just be careful with how you frame it. A simple “Let me know if you’d like me to introduce you to someone in my network” is better than “You really should do this.”
Meanwhile, if you’re the one being laid off, try not to burn any bridges on your way out the door. “You never know when a former manager or coworker might be asked about your work ethic or demeanor –– or be in a hiring position,” Nancy Collamer, a career coach and author, writes in Forbes [7]. A far better idea is to email coworkers and clients letting them know that you’ve been laid off, where to contact you and how much you enjoyed working with them. “That email really reflects on you,” says Post. “It’s good for you, and it’s the appropriate way to handle things, instead of trashing the company.” [8]
Louise, a laid off senior executive at an advertising firm speaking to the New York Times, also made the point that if your friend has just lost their job, you don’t need to ask them whether they’ve got a new one every time you see them. Your heart might be in the right place, but it can just pile on the misery if the answer is no. “It’s like someone trying to get pregnant and having a difficult time,” she said. “You don’t say every time you talk to them, ‘Are you pregnant yet?’ You know when it happens you’ll hear.” [9]
Essentially, it all boils down to being supportive, but not gratingly, unrealistically so. The newly laid-off “need a circle of supporters to remind them that better times are ahead, and that you’re part of their network,” says Gerson. Treat them how you’d like to be treated yourself. After all, says Gernson, “In this economy, the tables may turn very quickly, and you may be the one seeking advice and support. Helping others in need is not only good manners, it’s good karma.” [10]
What if you know in advance?
Meanwhile, there can sometimes be other awkward scenarios that arise when a colleague is being let go. For example, there’s an ethical dilemma that comes with hearing a rumour about layoffs before they happen. If you know someone is about to lose their job, do you tell them? Do you give them time to prepare? The instinct to protect a friend is understandable, but workplace expert Stephanie Sarkis warns against it to avoid professional and personal risks. [11]
For one, you might be wrong. Companies change their minds at the last minute, and spreading premature warnings can create unnecessary panic. More importantly, you could jeopardise your own position by sharing information that isn’t meant to be public.
Even after the fact, navigating this conversation is tricky. If a former colleague asks whether you knew in advance, be mindful of how you respond. Transparency is important, but so is discretion. Focus on supporting them in the present rather than dwelling on what you did or didn’t know.
The leftovers
There’s also the unspoken weirdness of those who are left behind. They’re in the supposedly lucky camp of those not to have been fired, but this tends to leave a strange, bitter taste. This is what’s known as “survivor syndrome.” Alyson Meister, a professor of leadership at IMD Business School, describes it as an emotional whiplash — employees left behind experience a mix of relief and guilt, gratitude and anxiety [12].
It’s an odd place to be. You might feel lucky, but at the same time, you wonder if you were just spared for now. Workloads often increase as remaining employees absorb the responsibilities of those who left. There’s also an unspoken expectation to prove your worth — to justify why you’re still here.
Management consultant Kevin Coyne acknowledges this psychological toll, saying, “If you’ve worked someplace long enough to get to know your colleagues, it’s inevitable to play the ‘Why me?’ and ‘Why them?’ game. Nobody is immune from thoughts like these” [13].
Acknowledging these feelings is important. Redundancies don’t just affect those who leave; they reshape the workplace for those who stay. Speaking with colleagues, finding clarity from leadership, and maintaining boundaries are all ways to navigate this period. You can’t control the decisions that led to the layoffs, but you can control how you respond and adjust.
Maintaining morale
Equally there’s the question of how to rebuild a positive work environment in the wake of layoffs. Letting people go doesn’t just remove employees — it changes the entire atmosphere of the workplace. People walk on eggshells, conversations become stilted, and trust in leadership is often shaken. The uncertainty can be just as stressful as the layoffs themselves.
Simma Lieberman, a management consultant, highlights the danger of leadership staying silent in these moments. “One of the worst actions management can take during this time is to not acknowledge the situation and the impact it is having on employees. This only makes the situation worse” [14]. Employees don’t need sugarcoating. They need clarity. They need to understand what comes next.
For those who remain, finding ways to rebuild morale is key. That doesn’t mean forcing a false sense of normalcy. It means keeping connections strong — checking in with colleagues, creating moments of levity, and acknowledging that things feel different, because they are. It’s about small gestures that make the workplace feel human again. That approach has to come from the top.
What to do when a colleague is laid off?
Layoffs are an unavoidable part of working life, yet the way we handle them — both as individuals and as organisations — can make a significant difference. Ignoring the discomfort may seem like the easiest route, but it often leaves those affected feeling isolated and those remaining feeling anxious. Instead, a thoughtful, compassionate approach — acknowledging the loss, offering support without overstepping, and creating space for honest conversations — can help navigate the aftermath in a way that fosters resilience rather than fear.
For those laid off, small acts of connection can be lifelines. For those left behind, recognising the emotional toll and maintaining open dialogue can make a workplace feel less fractured. And for leaders, clear communication and genuine engagement are crucial in rebuilding trust. Layoffs don’t just reshape an organisation on paper; they reshape its people. How we respond determines whether that change erodes a workplace or strengthens it.
More On Worlplace Morale
Creating and fostering cultures of meaning
The Role of Empathy in the Workplace: Impact and Implications
How “Nice” Should You be at Work?
Sources
[1] https://hbr.org/2025/02/when-your-coworkers-got-laid-off-but-you-didnt
[2] https://www.forbes.com/2009/04/21/layoff-etiquette-workplace-leadership-careers-basics.html
[3] https://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/25/your-money/25shortcuts.html
[4] https://www.forbes.com/2009/04/21/layoff-etiquette-workplace-leadership-careers-basics.html
[6] https://www.forbes.com/2009/04/21/layoff-etiquette-workplace-leadership-careers-basics.html
[7] https://www.forbes.com/2009/04/21/layoff-etiquette-workplace-leadership-careers-basics.html
[8] https://www.forbes.com/2009/04/21/layoff-etiquette-workplace-leadership-careers-basics.html
[9] https://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/25/your-money/25shortcuts.html
[10] https://www.forbes.com/2009/04/21/layoff-etiquette-workplace-leadership-careers-basics.html
[12] https://hbr.org/2025/02/when-your-coworkers-got-laid-off-but-you-didnt
[13] https://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/business/yourmoney/29career.html
[14] https://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/business/yourmoney/29career.html
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