Working Through a Personal Crisis

Introduction

Navigating a personal crisis while maintaining professional responsibilities is a challenge that transcends industries, job titles, and career stages. Whether it’s coping with illness, grieving a loss, managing family upheaval, or facing financial difficulties, these situations can profoundly impact one’s ability to function effectively at work. The modern workplace often demands our full attention, yet life’s inevitable crises don’t pause for business hours. Working through such periods is difficult, but it can be done. This article hopes to explain how.

Work/life crossover

Personal crises are universal experiences that don’t discriminate based on career success or position. As Amy Gallo, cohost of the Women at Work podcast and author of Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People), writes in Harvard Business Review, stressful life events — whether tending to a sick family member, coping with divorce, or managing one’s own health issues — create profound distractions that even the most dedicated professionals struggle to overcome [1]. The emotional toll manifests in various ways: decreased productivity, difficulty concentrating, emotional volatility, or simply the mental exhaustion of maintaining appearances while suffering privately.

Anne Kreamer, author of It’s Always Personal, emphasises that while such challenges are universal experiences, this knowledge offers little practical comfort when you’re struggling to meet basic work demands [2]. Research by Ashley Hardin at Washington University reveals these personal struggles inevitably affect workplace dynamics, often in ways we don’t anticipate [3]. Colleagues unaware of the situation may misinterpret changes in behaviour as disengagement or lack of commitment, while those who do notice something amiss may feel uncomfortable addressing it without invitation.

Marjie Terry of Great on the Job underscores this delicate balance: “You should try to keep your personal crisis out of the workplace as much as possible because it can become a burden and unnecessary distraction for others. That being said, when you’re dealing with a longer-term crisis, you’ll likely need to rearrange your workload and/or schedule” [4]. This tension between personal needs and professional expectations forms the core challenge of navigating crises while employed.

Assessing your needs

The first critical step in managing a crisis professionally involves conducting an honest assessment of what you truly need. Jane Dutton from the University of Michigan advises taking comprehensive stock of available resources both within and outside your organisation [5]. This inventory might include your personal support systems (family, friends, community groups), any workplace flexibility options (remote work, adjusted hours), potential professional support (HR policies, employee assistance programs), or simply colleagues who might be willing to temporarily shoulder some responsibilities.

Nancy Collamer, a career coach at MyLifestyleCareer.com, suggests this assessment should include realistic evaluation of how the crisis affects your work capacity: “Remember that any crisis could affect your attitude toward work, your performance, your availability, your level of energy or all of the above” [6]. She emphasises that if work will be impacted, it’s better to inform your manager proactively rather than have them assume you’re simply “slacking off.”

Interestingly, the solution doesn’t always require dramatic measures. As Dutton notes, “It might be as simple as leaving work early on Fridays for a month” [7]. Forbes contributor Chrissy Scivicque’s personal account reinforces this, describing how during her own crisis, she learned to “be gentle with yourself… If you’re not as chipper as usual, it’s perfectly fine. If you’re a little slower getting things done, don’t worry” [8]. This self-compassion forms the foundation for making practical adjustments.

The privacy paradox

One of the most agonising decisions during a personal crisis involves determining how much to disclose at work. Kreamer stresses that “this has to be an individual choice,” particularly with stigmatised issues like mental health struggles or financial troubles [9]. Dutton cautions that in some organisational cultures, disclosure can carry professional risk, suggesting we assess our environment carefully before sharing [10].

Speaking on a Forbes roundtable, a number of experts presented varied perspectives on this dilemma. Deborah Shane, a career author, featured writer, speaker, and media and marketing consultant, warns against oversharing: “Don’t be a drama queen or a toxic person. The more crisis and disruption surrounds you, the more people will think of you that way” [11]. Yet Ann Kaiser Stearns, Ph.D., author of Living Through Personal Crisis, offers more nuanced advice: “The information shared is best limited to the basic details. Why? The more you disclose the more easily your vulnerabilities and reactions can be scrutinised and misconstrued” [12].

Hardin’s research presents a compelling case for measured sharing, showing that when colleagues understand personal circumstances, they become more motivated to provide meaningful support [13]. Scivicque’s personal experience echoes this: “It may be helpful to share your situation with a trusted colleague and/or supervisor. This will give them some context around why you’re not acting like yourself” [14]. She wisely adds that you can be vague about details, especially with sensitive medical issues.

A middle path emerges from these perspectives: strategic, limited disclosure tailored to different workplace relationships. You might share more with a trusted manager who needs to understand your need for flexibility, while giving only basic information to colleagues who simply need to know you’re dealing with a private matter.

Establishing boundaries

Once the decision to share has been made, establishing clear boundaries becomes essential. Kreamer notes that “most people don’t want to know every detail of your parent’s chemotherapy. They want to know the pertinent information and how it’s going to affect them” [15]. This pragmatic approach respects both your privacy and colleagues’ need for work-relevant information.

The Forbes experts provide concrete strategies for these difficult conversations. Melissa Hopp, vice president of administrative services at the Community College of Baltimore County, advises walking the line between openness and professionalism: “You don’t want to be a soap opera but you don’t want to be so private that people don’t have the opportunity to support you” [16]. Terry recommends practical measures like having sensitive conversations behind closed doors and scheduling personal appointments outside work hours when possible [17].

Scivicque offers particularly insightful advice about managing well-meaning but potentially disruptive check-ins: “Ask people to refrain from contacting you at work to discuss the personal situation unless it’s an emergency, and assure them that you will still be available outside of working hours” [18]. This protects your work focus while maintaining important support channels.

Asking for help

Many struggle with requesting accommodations during crises, fearing they’ll be seen as weak or unreliable. Yet as Kreamer observes, “Ideally, when you share the news, your colleagues will say: ‘I’m going to do such-and-such for you. Are you cool with that?’ But if your coworkers aren’t forthcoming about offering help, ask for it explicitly” [19].

Wayne Baker’s research reveals that how we frame requests dramatically affects their success [20]. Effective requests tend to be those that are specific about what’s needed, clear about why it matters, and bounded by time parameters. For example: “I’d appreciate if you could handle the client meeting next Tuesday. This would let me attend my father’s doctor appointment without worrying about work. Could you take this one meeting so I can focus on family that day?”

Scivicque adds an important caveat: “Please recognise that people aren’t always great at knowing how to help… Help them out by telling them exactly what you need” [21]. This might mean requesting reduced responsibilities or, conversely, asking for more work as distraction — the key is clear communication.

Engaging management

Involving your manager requires particular care. Kreamer advises developing “some notion of how you intend to handle the problem” before the conversation [22]. Presenting solutions alongside challenges demonstrates professionalism and makes it easier for managers to support you.

Collamer suggests timing the conversation carefully: “If possible, wait to speak with your employer until you’ve had a chance to settle your nerves and reflect on the situation. The last thing you want to do is dissolve into a puddle of tears in your boss’s office” [23]. Preparation is key — consider rehearsing with a trusted friend.

Maggie Mistal, a career consultant, radio host and speaker, emphasises transparency about impacts: “Don’t sugarcoat or downplay the situation if you’re really in a crisis. It will only mismanage expectations and you could end up disappointing others” [24]. This honest approach prevents compounding problems down the line.

To work or step away?

Perhaps the most profound decision involves whether to continue working or take leave. Kreamer’s personal experience reveals work’s potential therapeutic value: after losing three family members, she found the routine provided essential stability [25]. Conversely, she acknowledges that when someone “won’t be able to function at the caliber that your job requires,” leave may be the healthiest option [26].

Scivicque describes work as a potential “sanctuary — a port away from the storm” during her crisis [27]. Yet she acknowledges that when personal matters require all your attention, “you’re best to take time off” [28]. Stearns offers a practical middle ground: exploring options like temporary remote work or adjusted schedules [29].

Financial realities complicate this decision, as not all companies offer paid leave. However, even short breaks can provide crucial breathing room. The key lies in honest self-assessment: can you maintain acceptable performance while managing the crisis? If not, temporary withdrawal may preserve both your health and professional reputation long-term.

Emotional management

Maintaining professionalism during emotional turmoil presents perhaps the greatest challenge. Author and thought leader Erika Andersen’s analysis of emotional self-control provides valuable perspective, drawing parallels between childhood emotional regulation and professional conduct during crises [30]. Her examination of Abraham Lincoln’s leadership during the Civil War — managing profound personal depression while guiding a nation — offers powerful lessons [31].

Lincoln’s practice of writing angry letters he never sent demonstrates the value of processing emotion privately before professional interactions [32]. Andersen suggests modern professionals adopt similar strategies: “When you feel panicked or overwhelmed, and the urge to run away, or lash out, or deny reality gets strong…you need to just stop. Take a breath. Remind yourself of your ultimate goal” [33].

This emotional discipline doesn’t mean suppressing genuine feelings, but rather channelling them appropriately. As Deborah Shane advises, “Keep your poise and positive attitude and act as best you can daily” [34]. Collamer adds the importance of maintaining perspective: “Don’t forget that no matter how tough your situation is, everyone has ongoing personal challenges, so don’t forget to occasionally ask about them and their lives as well” [35].

Thinking long-term

The aftermath of a crisis often brings unexpected professional developments. Several case studies demonstrate how compassionate workplaces breed fierce loyalty. Amy Morin’s psychological perspective reminds us that personal and professional lives inevitably intertwine: “You can’t completely separate your work life from your home life, no matter what you do. You’re a human being, not a robot” [36]. Her research shows how emotions from one sphere affect the other — excitement may increase risk-taking at work, while sadness might make us settle for less [37]. Recognising these spillover effects allows for more mindful professional conduct during personal difficulties.

Working through a personal crisis

Working through personal crises requires a multifaceted approach combining self-awareness, strategic communication, and emotional intelligence. By assessing your needs honestly, setting clear boundaries, and making thoughtful requests for support, you can manage the situation without sacrificing your wellbeing or career. Remember that crises are temporary — with the right approach, you can emerge stronger, preserving both your professional standing and personal resilience.

As Scivicque puts it: “If you’re going through difficult times, I want you to know you’re not alone. We’ve all been through it and we’ll all go through it again… Take care of yourself and remember — this too shall pass” [38]. The workplace can indeed become a source of stability and even healing during life’s most challenging chapters. With compassion for yourself and clarity in your actions, you’ll find a way through.