Introduction
In 2005, David Foster Wallace, the celebrated author renowned for his lofty, intellectual style and profound, often humorously contempful explorations of the human experience (not to mention his trademark bandana), delivered a now-iconic commencement speech to the graduating class at Kenyon College. His speech was titled “This is Water” [1]. That title, seemingly banal, delivers a profound, even life-changing message (if the YouTube comments are to be believed, at least).
Wallace urges graduates to cultivate a deliberate awareness of the seemingly obvious, the everyday realities that often slip by unnoticed. He does so through a short and simple anecdote.
There are these two young fish…
Foster Wallace tells the story of two young fish swimming merrily along. On their journey, they encounter an older fish swimming in the opposite direction. The older fish nods and says, “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” The two young fish swim on for a bit before one turns to the other and asks, “What the hell is water?”
“The point of the fish story,” Foster Wallace explains, “is merely that the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude, but the fact is that in the day to day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have a life or death importance, or so I wish to suggest to you on this dry and lovely morning.” [2]
Modern water
The anecdote of the fish in water poignantly illustrates our tendency to take the fundamental aspects of our existence for granted. We live immersed in the water of our daily routines, oblivious to its very existence until someone points it out. The “water” in our lives could be anything –– the ability to have a meaningful conversation, the beauty of a sunrise, the simple act of breathing, all these cosmically miraculous aspects of the human experience that we steadfastly fail to recognise.
Foster Wallace goes into great detail in the speech laying out just how difficult it is to spot the water around us. And that was in 2005. In the subsequent years, the water, if at all possible, has grown more transparent and undetectable still. We live amongst an attention-sapping multimedia environment explicitly designed to absorb us. Smartphones and social media make it not just impossible to notice our settings but to acknowledge that we’re swimming at all. Our attention, the aspect of ourselves Foster Wallace goes to great lengths to say we should prize, protect and treasure, is a currency traded amongst Silicon Valley power brokers. Our attention is bought and sold behind our backs, often for all too cheap. And that is just one of the battles currently facing us.
We are also battling the cult of false positivity, staring blankly at a curated reality social media drip feeds us, feasting on slideshows and highlight reels of other lives we deem better than our own. We are repeatedly thrust into the twin states of feeling inadequate while simultaneously burning with a need to curate our own false reality online too. We must play along with the great lie or else allow our lives to appear lesser, mundane, forgettable. Pretty soon everything is distorted.
We are battling the fear of missing out, confronted with an endless need to stay connected, to check back in online for fear that we will be alienated and out of step with those around us if we fail to. It’s hard to be fully present in the moment when all the while you’re in it, you wish you were in another one.
We are battling our brains, most specifically the default mode network. This is our brain’s natural mode of operation that kicks in when we’re not actively engaged in a task. This mode often leads to ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, further pulling us away from the present moment.
In the context of such a society, Foster Wallace’s message about cherishing the ordinary becomes even more relevant. These factors combined create a constant undercurrent of distraction, making cultivating sustained awareness feel nigh on impossible. But it is doable. It just requires effort.
The benefits of making that effort are numerous.
The benefits of awareness
A recent study published in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine found that those who completed a mindfulness awareness program experienced less insomnia, fatigue, and depression after six weeks than those who received sleep education [3]. A study that was presented at the American Heart Association Scientific Sessions 2022 reported that after participating in an eight-week mindfulness behaviour program, adults who had elevated blood pressure at the beginning of the program had significantly lower blood pressure and reduced sedentary time at their six-month follow-up. [4]
In the UK, it is estimated that as many as 30% of GPs refer patients to mindfulness training [5]. That’s because the benefits are well-documented and because in theory it’s simple (though as anyone who has tried focusing on the breath will tell you, it’s difficult to believe how quickly the mind drifts away).
By becoming more aware of our own thoughts and feelings, we can develop a deeper understanding of those around us. When we pay attention to the everyday details, we can cultivate a genuine appreciation for the beauty and wonder of the world. Being present allows us to make more conscious choices, rather than acting on autopilot, and can reduce the amount of time we waste ruminating on the past and worrying about the future.
As Foster Wallace puts it, “Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience” [6]. The simple act of acknowledging the “water” of our lives can lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling existence.
Cultivating Awareness
Being aware of one’s surroundings does not just happen. It is a conscious act, and a challenging one. As Foster Wallace puts it, “People who can adjust their natural default setting this way are often described as being “well-adjusted”, which I suggest to you is not an accidental term” [7]. So how does one become well-adjusted? How does one find a way to spot the water around them in a world designed to distract us?
As previously noted, one option is mindfulness. The availability of mindfulness apps makes it easy to get started. Incorporating just ten minutes a day into your daily routine can change your perspective in monumental ways.
Another option is gratitude exercises. Taking time each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for can shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life. It’s a useful countermeasure against negative thinking.
If your distraction is not just internal but external –– ie you are overly occupied by your phone and digital spaces –– it could be worth attempting a digital break. You don’t have to go cold turkey. You could start small by saying “I’m not going to use my phone for half an hour before bed.” Then extend that period out or add further half-hour breaks to your day, during lunch or after work for example. A useful tip is to put your phone in another room during any detox to remove the temptation. Out of sight really is out of mind.
Try focusing on your senses. This is a step that will be recommended to you in mindfulness practices but you can do any place, any time, by yourself. Simply make the choice to notice what surrounds you –– sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures. This simple act can anchor you in the present moment.
Make a conscious effort to engage in activities that require focus. Activities like reading, spending time in nature, or creating art can demand your full attention, fostering a state of mindfulness or even flow state. It’s time better spent than scrolling.
Observe your thoughts rather than judging them. This too is a pillar of mindfulness practice but something you can do alone. Every thought you’ve ever had has passed away, the one you’re currently lost in will too. Try to notice your thoughts as a passive bystander rather than lending them overdue creed, and do the same with people too. When interacting with others, try to observe them without judgement. It can lead to deeper connections and a better understanding of the people around you.
That’s a lot of examples but, as noted, most of them can be practised even for just a few moments throughout the day –– it’s just about breaking the spell of thought and noticing what’s around you. Still, it’s recommended you start small. Don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. Begin with easy, manageable changes, like taking a few mindful breaths throughout the day.
None of these strategies are a one-time fix, rather a lifelong practice. By incorporating any or all of them into your daily routine, you can cultivate a greater sense of awareness and begin to truly appreciate the “water” of your existence. At the risk of sounding guru-adjacent, it can help set you free from the prison of your mind. As Foster Wallace says, “The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.” [8]
This is water
David Foster Wallace’s “This is Water” speech serves as a powerful reminder to appreciate the seemingly mundane aspects of life. In a world overflowing with distractions, cultivating awareness requires conscious effort. It is difficult. But the rewards are substantial.
By adopting the practices outlined above, we can embark on a lifelong journey of self-discovery, increased appreciation, and a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us. The “water” of our lives is always there, waiting to be acknowledged. It’s up to us to become the “older fish” who can see it, savour it, and appreciate the profound beauty in the ordinary.
More on Mindfulness
Stress Management and Leadership Through Mindfulness
Breathing, Cold Exposure, and Mindfulness with Níall Ó Murchú
Mindfulness, Meditation and Compassion in the Workplace and in Life with Scott Shute – Podcast
Sources
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCbGM4mqEVw
[2] https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
[6] https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
[7] https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
[8] https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
It’s a common belief that achieving success in our careers or personal lives will lead to greater happiness and life satisfaction. However, social and developmental psychology research has shown that this is not always the case. In fact, the correlation between achievement and happiness is often weak or non-existent. (Diener & Seligman, 2002).
Success at a cost
One reason for this is that achievement is often accompanied by pressure, stress, and anxiety. High achievers may feel that they are constantly under scrutiny and must maintain their success in order to be seen as valuable or worthy. This pressure can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and a sense of emptiness or lack of fulfilment (Curnow, 2019).
For example, Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps achieved unprecedented success in his swimming career but struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. Phelps stated in an interview with CNN (2018) that he had achieved everything he had ever wanted in his swimming career, but he still felt empty and lost. Similarly, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk has reported feeling depressed despite his many accomplishments. Musk once tweeted, “The reality is great highs, terrible lows and unrelenting stress. Don’t think people want to hear about the last two.”
Mindset and habits
These anecdotes are supported by cognitive and behavioural psychology research, which suggests that our level of happiness is influenced more by our mindset and daily habits than by external factors such as achievement or material possessions (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, & Schkade, 2005). Studies have shown that individuals who practice gratitude, mindfulness, and social connection tend to report higher levels of life satisfaction, regardless of their achievements (Lyubomirsky, 2013).
Social support and emotional stability
One study by King and Hicks (2007) found that life satisfaction was positively correlated with social support and emotional stability, but was negatively correlated with ambition and achievement. The researchers suggested that high-achieving individuals may prioritise their goals over their relationships, leading to a sense of isolation or disconnection.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while achievement can certainly bring a sense of accomplishment and pride, it’s important to recognise that it doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness. The pressure and stress that often accompany achievement can lead to feelings of emptiness or lack of fulfilment. It’s important to focus on cultivating positive habits and a healthy mindset in order to lead a fulfilling and satisfying life, regardless of external accomplishments.
References:
Curnow, T. (2019). The dangers of high achievement: How success can lead to burnout. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-couch/201904/the-dangers-high-achievement-how-success-can-lead-burnout
Diener, E., & Seligman, M. E. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological Science, 13(1), 81-84.
